Saturday, January 5, 2008

134

Initial Weight: 240.6
Current Weight: 237.4
Current BMI: 34.1
Weight Lost: 3.2 pounds

I'm feeling fluey today: sore throat, chunky phlegm, just wanting to crawl under the covers and sleep. I'm hot but I can't get warm.

I went to Curves this morning - I wasn't feeling that bad then, just a sore throat - but started feeling really bleah when I got home. Good thing the house is pretty much emptied of temptations, because otherwise I would probably have eaten some yucky stuff.

Dr. Oz is on the TV. He says that a woman's waist should be no more than 32". I don't have any idea what my waist measurement is - I'll do my measurements tomorrow and then measure every Sunday after that - but it's probably over 40". Well, at least now I have a goal. I hate being sick because it really screws up my workout schedule. Sickness just magnifies that question - how much is too much? Well, tomorrow is a day off from exercise anyway, so maybe that will be enough to get me over the hump and on to wellness.

One final note: I am sitting on the couch as I type this. Because I am freezing, I am wearing three shirts and three pairs of pants. Or at least I was. Because of my "chub," the blob of fat that hangs off my belly, I can't fold my body up into a comfortable position in my three pairs of pants. Even now, when I have removed my jeans and just have two pairs of loose-fitting pajamas on, I have crossed my legs and the flesh across my thighs is stretched so tight that there are ripples, like a piece of silk stretched too far, and it feels like the blubber may burst through my overstretched flesh.

I am accustomed to this sensation - usually I don't even notice it, or only in passing and then ignore the sensations - but meditating upon how I am living in, or imprisoned in, my body makes me all the more determined to change, to free myself and accomplish all of the physical, relational, and creative goals that my current physical condition prohibits.

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